Birthdays

Birthdays are funny... some people love them, some people hate them.  Sometimes they make you happy and sometimes they make you sad.  Either way, birthdays cause you to reflect on your life and who/what is important to you.  I celebrated my 27th birthday a little over a week ago.  It was a Monday, like any other Monday... I went to school, had a pretty normal day, came home, took a nap, ate dinner with my parents, and went to bed early so I could start the routine all over again the next day.  There were many happy moments during my day when I felt celebrated.  Six-year-old's are especially good at being honest and making a big deal out of the fact that you are turning a year older.  I received homemade cards, gift certificates, cookies, and hugs.  There were many nice things said to me like: "Happy birthday Miss Hall!  I love you, you are the best teacher I have ever had!" and "I like that you look so pretty everyday!" and "I like you because you take us to recess!"  All of them blessed me. 

Driving home from school that day, however, the deep sadness came.  As I thought about the past year and the people I love so dearly, my heart experienced deep sadness that can only come with true realization that you messed some things up.  It broke me.  Tears streamed down my face as the joy of being surrounded by first graders who think you are the best thing since sliced bread to those I had hurt and let down during the past year.  It was hard to celebrate in light of the pain and heartache this brought.  But then the Lord gave me a very sweet, true picture.  It was of Him celebrating me in Heaven.  He was jumping up and down with a smile on His face... dancing with me and telling me of all the beauty and joy He created in me.  He delighted in who I was and in everything about me.  He was proud, even though I had made mistakes and let Him down... He was proud of who I was.  And then, nothing else mattered.  It didn't matter who celebrated me or what my past mistakes said about me... HE was celebrating me like no one else ever could.  If I could have gone to Heaven for just that day and celebrated with Jesus, I would have.  He was the only One I really wanted to be with.  And then, another realization came to me.  He celebrates me like this EVERYday, not just on my birthday.  He celebrates me because He made me exactly who He wanted me to be, and He is perfect and doesn't make mistakes.  His smile is always that big when He thinks about me.  He sings "Happy Birthday" to me everyday in His heart.  And for that, I am forever thankful.  May I always find joy in how celebrated I am by the Father!