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                            (Picture taken in South Africa... they just couldn't get close enough!)

One of my favorite things about kids is how much they teach us about the Father  And how they hold up a mirror reflecting things about ourselves that we've either forgotten or don't care to admit.  I have noticed something lately... and that is how children want to be close to the people in their lives.  Here, I am talking about a physical closeness, although I believe emotional closeness plays a part as well.  Along with the cold weather comes colds.  And that means snotty noses, hacking coughs, and nastiness galore.  Spending 8 hours a day in an incubator of germs makes you aware of many things, including your desperate desire to stay AWAY from all the boogers.  All that aside... I have found myself trying to keep a little more distance between myself and the kids at school lately.  I have been sick and so have they.  In my efforts to create some space, I have noticed how desperately they just want to be close to me.  If I scoot a little further over, so do they.  They want to hold my hand, and hug, and sit as close to me as possible during reading time.  If my lap was big enough I swear they would all be on top of me.  In the mornings during devotionals, a little boy sometimes likes to lean up against me while we sing... it is so precious.  This desire to be "close" can reveal so much about our longings to be known and loved.  That is really what it boils down to.  They are wanting to be loved.   

This is how we should be with our Father.  We should long to be close to Him, to feel His skin, to touch His face.  He will not scoot away.  He will always hold our hand.  He will hold us when we are sad and tired and want to rest.  And He doesn't mind our boogers:)

Birthdays

Birthdays are funny... some people love them, some people hate them.  Sometimes they make you happy and sometimes they make you sad.  Either way, birthdays cause you to reflect on your life and who/what is important to you.  I celebrated my 27th birthday a little over a week ago.  It was a Monday, like any other Monday... I went to school, had a pretty normal day, came home, took a nap, ate dinner with my parents, and went to bed early so I could start the routine all over again the next day.  There were many happy moments during my day when I felt celebrated.  Six-year-old's are especially good at being honest and making a big deal out of the fact that you are turning a year older.  I received homemade cards, gift certificates, cookies, and hugs.  There were many nice things said to me like: "Happy birthday Miss Hall!  I love you, you are the best teacher I have ever had!" and "I like that you look so pretty everyday!" and "I like you because you take us to recess!"  All of them blessed me. 

Driving home from school that day, however, the deep sadness came.  As I thought about the past year and the people I love so dearly, my heart experienced deep sadness that can only come with true realization that you messed some things up.  It broke me.  Tears streamed down my face as the joy of being surrounded by first graders who think you are the best thing since sliced bread to those I had hurt and let down during the past year.  It was hard to celebrate in light of the pain and heartache this brought.  But then the Lord gave me a very sweet, true picture.  It was of Him celebrating me in Heaven.  He was jumping up and down with a smile on His face... dancing with me and telling me of all the beauty and joy He created in me.  He delighted in who I was and in everything about me.  He was proud, even though I had made mistakes and let Him down... He was proud of who I was.  And then, nothing else mattered.  It didn't matter who celebrated me or what my past mistakes said about me... HE was celebrating me like no one else ever could.  If I could have gone to Heaven for just that day and celebrated with Jesus, I would have.  He was the only One I really wanted to be with.  And then, another realization came to me.  He celebrates me like this EVERYday, not just on my birthday.  He celebrates me because He made me exactly who He wanted me to be, and He is perfect and doesn't make mistakes.  His smile is always that big when He thinks about me.  He sings "Happy Birthday" to me everyday in His heart.  And for that, I am forever thankful.  May I always find joy in how celebrated I am by the Father!